Interviewing myself.

I did this interview with my friend about a week ago. One of my friends told me I should do the interview and put MY answers in. So here it is, my interview with myself...

1. How long did you identify as a lesbian?
I started sleeping with females when I was 14 and came out when I was 16. So between 8-10 years.

2. How did you come to the conclusion that you wanted to date men?
The first year after my divorce I tried seeing a couple different women. It was stupid because I was definitely not ready to date. My divorce and the six months leading up to it was horrendous. There was no way to bounce back from it. The summer after, I had a random, drunken one night stand with a guy, which turned into a weekend of hanging out and sleeping together, which turned into us keeping in touch (he lived out of state). At first I freaked out, we eventually just became friends and I continued to identify as a lesbian. It wasn't until I met my first boyfriend that I actually considered dating men. He was seriously the nicest guy I had ever met and was super hot. So, I just went with it.

3. What was it like dating a man?
Different, very different. With women it's so emotional and it moves so quickly. I wasn't used to things moving so slow. With a woman it's totally normal to move in together after a couple months. After a couple months we still weren't an official couple. It was exactly what I needed though. We were completely open about everything. I told him I had never dated a man, as an adult woman so I didn't know what was acceptable and what wasn't. I kept it completely honest and straight forward. That worked initially but in the end ruined our relationship. I learned that dating man can be just like dating a woman. There are men with ridiculous insecurity, trust issues and that love the dramatic parts of a relationship. Those things were what I was trying to get away from.

4. Are there similarities between dating a man and a woman?
It depends on the guy that you date. I think that a lot of men are way more insecure and emotional than they would like to admit. The issue with me and dating in general is that I don't deal well with insecurity or overly emotional people. I believe in a relationship, it's okay to have that jealous moment once in awhile or to worry for a day about whether your partner really wants to be with you but when it becomes a constant thing, I don't have the patience. Both women and men can be that way. On the other hand, I get along better with men most of the time and they generally enjoy doing the types of things I find enjoyable. I like it simple and basic. Beers and a campfire. Hiking and a picnic. The gun range and a BBQ. Cooking dinner together and having some wine. All easy things. Even as friends, I usually enjoy hanging out with guys more than girls, usually.

5. Do you now have a gender preference?
I would say that I lean more towards men than women. I haven't had a longterm relationship with a man yet and that's still something I want to explore. I wouldn't be opposed to dating a woman but she would have to be extremely special for me to make that effort. Women scare the shit out of me to be honest. They're nuts.

6. What was it like having sex with a man for the first time in so many years?
Honestly, the first couple of times I was DRUNK. I had way too many mental blocks to actually, soberly have sex with a guy. But when I started dating my first boyfriend, it was nice. It was good. And as time has gone on and I've become very comfortable with my sexuality, the sex with men has become...fantastic. I will say that between the men and the women I've slept with, men are less passionate, less sensual. Sex with a woman, even when it's a one night stand, involves a lot more than just the fucking. Plus, being a woman, I'm more comfortable with my body around women than men, which adds to the overall fun of the sex.

7. What do you look for in a potential partner?
A best friend that I am sexually attracted to. I want to be with someone that I genuinely enjoy spending time with, they have to be a little country, eventually want kids and they have to love to travel. Someone who would consider living outside of the U.S. is a plus. And honestly, they can't have had that perfect childhood and life. Anyone I've tried to date like that does not understand me at all.

8. How did your friends/family respond?
It took my mom a very long time to be okay with me being a lesbian. About 7 years, so to then throw it at her that I was dating men I'm sure she was a little pissed I made her go through all that. She was happy. I know that she always has wanted me to be straight (not that I am now by any means). My brother had the best reaction, "I like that you're dating men now. Because now, when they fuck up, I can come down and beat their ass." I love my little brother. My sister, said she always knew I was a breeder. No surprise, we don't speak anymore. A lot of my friends were really supportive. There were a few that felt a little betrayed and were rude about it. I ran into a couple that I had known for years when I was out with my boyfriend, introduced them and they were just so unfriendly. One kept saying to her wife, "No, Anne has a boyfriend, like with a penis. Oh my god." Now, a couple years later, everyone is fine with it.

9. Any comments or advice for adult women barely entering the heterosexual dating scene?
Don't try to be anybody other than yourself. Lesbians are completely different from straight women and it's hard to find a straight man who likes the kind of women we are. But eventually, hopefully, we'll all find someone, woman or man.