"If a man is over 30 and still single you need to spend 6 more months getting to know him. If there's a good man, there are girls like us who will swoop him up, good men don't make it past 30 single. Guaranteed, if a man is over 30 and single, there's some major flaws."
Words of wisdom from one of my favorite people. I was seeing someone who I thought was a really nice guy. He was intelligent, funny, sweet and we had a lot of similar interests. He would say things like, "I'm enjoying taking my time getting to know you." and we never slept together, thankfully. I recently found out that he had been sleeping with not one, but two of my friends. One girl he was completely aware of our friendship and continued to pursue both of us, not letting either of us know so we could make the decision to be involved or not. This morning I was told that he had been sleeping with one of my other friends! You would think, if you're going to get it in, maybe stay out of the same group of women, although we all are pretty rad. (Yes, in Sacramento, most of us heavily tattooed girls know each other and hang out.) It would've been one thing if he had been completely honest with each one of us. Hey, you just want to get laid? I get it. I'm a woman with the sex drive and perversions of a 16 year old boy. I do what I want, when I want. No judgement here, but, do not play the "nice" guy who is genuinely interested in dating and "getting to know" me. Don't say sweet things or tell women how much you like them if all you want to do is fuck. I have a lot more respect for a man/woman who can be brutally honest. "Hey, I don't want to date you but I think you're hot. Let's fuck?" That is way more acceptable than the games or false interest. I'm the kind of woman who, if someone is going to play games, lie or basically just be an asshole, I can detach pretty easily. I'm more upset with my friend getting her feelings hurt.
Back to my friend's advice. This guy is in his late thirties and obviously, still single. I don't know if it's completely true that a man over 30 is damaged goods or that they should be avoided. There are plenty of men my age that are fucked up. I guess I thought that dating an older man would be less drama because of my previous experience (he was 45, I was 25...no, it didn't work out but there were no games or drama). I guess what it is, is that older men have more time to perfect their game and polish their lines. Not one but three women were fooled into thinking this guy was one of the "nice" ones and to fool a cynical/suspicious woman such as myself is quite an accomplishment. Well done, asshole.
P.S. I'm not saying women aren't fucked up or have issues. There are plenty of women who are not all sunshine and rainbows to be with. But...who hurt her to make her that way? I've had more than my fair share of hell to deal with since birth but I don't take it out on other people, cheat, lie or abuse the ones I love. I just love my booze and my good times, it doesn't hurt anybody but me (and most of the time it's a good hurt).
Older men are much better, of course. I'd like to kick the girl who said that opening statement.
ReplyDeleteIs the opposite true as well? Are single older women evil and damaged goods? or are they simply content and honest with themselves knowing that a long- term relationship is not always worth the hassle and refuse to deal anymore? Secure within themselves (as you seem to be yourself) in NOT needing a permanent sidekick/ significant other? I think not.
I can't be in a relationship. Can we just fuck?
ReplyDeleteEveryone is fucked up regardless of gender. Some people are serial committers. Some people (such as myself) are addicted to being single. It's easier and there is no lack of connection with people. That's what I have family and friends for.
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